


Flirt to Convert

by b43b3n



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Gen, Islam, Lack of faith, Religion, season 4, that one scene that killed me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 11:05:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10785516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b43b3n/pseuds/b43b3n
Summary: She’d thought that Yousef was different; finally here was a funny modern Muslim who was 1) A guy about her age, and 2) fine as heck. She’d let herself dream a little bit, just for him to turn out the same.Sana's thoughts around the TEXT OF DOOM. (because that shit is freaking relatable)





	Flirt to Convert

**Author's Note:**

> So I know it is sometimes considered bad practice to write about a religion when you know nothing about it, so I tried to stay away from making bad calls and let the thoughts write themselves really. I love the yousef-doesn't-believe-in-allah plot development even though it hurts so bad. It was just so in line with what dating when you're religious is like.

“I don’t believe in Allah”

_Oh._

That was the first thought that came to Sana’s head when the message from Yousef came through. Unable to do anything else, she turned off the screen and put her phone down, face first. It didn’t help, it didn’t change the truth, and it wasn’t like she could pretend that the message never existed.

_I just thought that for once…_

Sana knew and believed with all her that it was everyone’s right to believe in whatever they chose, or believe in nothing at all, and practice their faith. But just because they had that right, it didn’t mean that it stopped them from being wrong. Unfortunately, all her friends were wrong, and she peacefully let them be wrong on the off chance they might just be right, and she quietly let them be wrong because they weren’t wrong the same way that the conservatives are wrong, and she calmly let them be wrong because they weren’t hurting anyone.

_Except sometimes they are hurting me with all of the careless disrespect they have._

All of Sana’s close friends were wrong and she was most certainly not going to say a single thing about it out loud to their faces. She knew that out there in the world, in the schoolyard and in her neighbourhood, there were ‘modern atheist Norwegians’ who were waiting for her to fall and meet all of their stupid, awful expectations and announce that she thought that her religion was the only ‘one true religion’. And Okay, It might be true but she only believed the diet version of that, and that was going to stay safely under wraps.

Listening to Vilde practice her right to free religion and free speech got old quickly, but got older faster when she and Magnus started going out, and what also got old quickly was listening to Vilde ‘pity’ her for wanting to follow her religion.

_Complete Utter Fucking Bullshit._

Sometimes Sana would observe her friends and wonder how they could live such godless lives.

_How can they not have something to pray to? How can they not have a god to be thankful to? How can they be so assuming that they are masters of their own lives and do not answer to anything bigger? How?_

Chris was the only real exception. Her parents were Sunday-Catholics and 12 years of Sunday school had granted her with a convenient faith that answered some of the bigger questions. She hid it well, Sana had only found out just before a big German test when she’d seen her friend clutching her rosary and quietly praying “God, I…uh don’t know how to pray and I know I’m like the biggest sinner out there but can you, or maybe could one of your buddies like Jesus or Mohammed, help me pass this test. Takk, thanks, danke schon, amen, a-women, yours sincerely Chris”

Chris passed well.

When Sana had the chance to ask to her about it Chris sloshed back a glass of red wine and told her that the blood of Jesus was her lucky charm and had frantically searched Noora’s apartment for a bready kind of food, and had to settle for nougat biscuit cereal, she offered communion to all who were in attendance. Sana opted out, which was just as well as she would have died choking on a nougat biscuit, she was laughing so hard. She’d ended up sitting on the floor crying of laughter but the charade had left a bad aftertaste that came from mocking higher powers. (Even if Jesus was just a higher prophet)

Sana was lonely for company that understood her. (The Hijab police were out of the question, all hypocrites and all bitchy as hell). She was lonely for other 21st century Muslims, ones who would support her being a modern working woman and be able to talk faith. The person who fit the bill most closely was probably Even, but he wasn’t even Muslim and he irritated Sana a bit (too obsessed with films).  

She’d thought that Yousef was different; finally here was a funny modern Muslim who was 1) A guy about her age, and 2) fine as heck. She’d let herself dream a little bit, just for him to turn out the same.

She had dared to imagine him as a boyfriend and... though she would never admit it, imagine him as a husband and a father running after a pair of mini Sana-Yousefs. Now it just… hurt, it wasn’t a sharp pain of heartbreak or anything so dramatic, it was the same pain as burning cake, or losing a brand new lippie. It was the pain of losing a little bit of future.

There was only one thing to do to move forward: Flirt to convert.

_I’m not that tacky._

So the other option was to let it go, preferably without tears.

Preferably without…

_Too Late._

**Author's Note:**

> Hey thanks for reading, now before you go, don't forget to smash that kudos button and... (just kidding this aint youtube.)


End file.
